How to write your own wedding vows.
As a wedding celebrant couples often have many questions about wedding vows. Understandably you want to get your them right but it’s most important that they are authentic.
So yes, there are traditional vows but you can include these with your personal promises to each other. Also your vows don’t have to be the same length and if you’re shy your celebrant can read them on your behalf. BUT the most important thing is vows should be is authentic to you whether its romantic, silly, funny, sophisticated, poetic, they belong to you so its time to take ownership. As an experienced wedding celebrant these tips I share always work!
So here’s some simple first steps:
- Write them on your own when you are feeling good, or very loved up.
- Don’t force it, if you like just imagine telling a stranger all about your partner and record it on your phone.
- A nice simple start is “3 things”. So record or write 3 words to describe my partner and then 3 things I love about my partner. And if you come up with more than 3 that’s great, write them down.
- Trigger sentences – use things to start your thoughts, and then finish the sentences, then write or record your answers. Remember you can have serious and or funny vows, it’s your choice, just be real, be you.
Here’s some ideas:
- I love the way….
- You make me feel…
- When I look at you I think…
- Without you my life would be…
- You make me laugh/smile when you…
- When I first saw you….
- Things I find sexy about you are…
- I’ll always remember…
Your answers can be brief or detailed. The ideas you have worked through so far, should enable you to write a short paragraph about how you feel about your partner.
Using all of this information many couples favour reading out their feelings rather than a long list of “I promise to” or “I vow to”. So you might start with something like “From the first moment we met I knew you were the one, you are funny, beautiful and everything I admire” etc.
This reading of compliments by each partner in turn, can end with a lead into traditional or non traditional vows by using a lead in sentence like “So for all of these reasons and more, I promise/vow to always love, honour and cherish you”…etc. So, you have lots of options here, some couples do the traditional vows first and then read their promises. With a celebrant you’re free to chose and we’ll also guide you through these aspects.
There’s lots of inspiration and examples out there, including examples from literary greats, love poets, movies such as “The Vow” and vows used in books, TV programmes and not forgetting song lyrics.
I will share some vows I’ve written using the techniques above for an imaginary couple.
“Every time I look at you I can’t believe how lucky I am to have found my beautiful, funny and sexy soulmate. The night we met I was intoxicated by you and I’ve been drunk in love ever since. You’re kind, clever, and when you flick your hair and smile I’m lost. I love your confidence, your style and grace, and the way you giggle when you blush…”
…”Our life so far has been about new adventures, passion, lust and laughter, and we stick together when times get tough. I promise to always be there with you whatever life brings. You are my lover, my soulmate, and the better half of me. Because of all of these reasons, and many more, I vow to always love you, honour you and be faithful to you forever more. ” (or from here to eternity or to infinity and beyond ! if you’re a Buzz Lightyear fan.)
From here you can move on to the ring exchange and add traditional vows but with a celebrant ceremony you don’t have to. And if you want to promise to not hog the remote or not sing with your headphones on or something very down to earth then that’s ok too. The key thing is they are YOUR vows so make them true to you, nobody else matters!
I hope you found this useful. To connect with me feel free to check out my website www.amandasceremonies.com
On Instagram I’m @amandasceremonies and on Facebook I’m Amanda’s beautiful ceremonies.
Email awhealcelebrant@gmail.com
Tel 07311 431754
